


Rare and Wonderful

by TheSassBrit



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Canon Dialogue, Canon storyline, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, MY WEAKNESS, alistair and the warden being cute, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-23 22:00:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6131514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSassBrit/pseuds/TheSassBrit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of oneshots featuring my warden, Eryn Cousland, and Alistair and their adventures and romance during the Blight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meetings

The clang of metal on metal and the barking of various dogs rang out from the ruins of Ostagar. 

Eryn didn’t know what to think as she stood at the base of one of the monstrous pillars. In the past two weeks, she had never felt more small, insignificant, and powerless in her life, and now she was expected to take on responsibilities and ignore what happened. 

“Miss Cousland.”

Eryn jumped and returned to the present, facing Duncan. To be honest, he was more understanding and supportive than she expected. He rarely pushed her and he let her have her space when she needed it. Now they were at the camp and the Joining was near, she was seeing more of the Commander Warden she was expecting. 

“Sorry, Ser,” she quickly replied, catching up with him. 

Duncan gave her a curt nod before picking up the pace toward the ruins. “It’s alright, I had the same expression when I saw it my first time.” He let out a chuckle. “That was longer ago than I want to admit.”

They continued toward the bridge and Bear let out a soft ‘bwoof’ as a familiar figure started to stride toward them. Being the daughter of a Teryn had its perks and downsides. Having to meet with King Cailan frequently was both, depending on the situation. 

Eryn was honestly surprised the King even remembered her. The last time they met, he was still a prince and she was still being forced to wear skirts. Her mother gave up when she turned 16. Eryn’s throat closed up at the thought of her mother. 

“Lady Cousland, what brings you here? Your father and his troops were expected here a week ago,” Cailan was saying, looking concerned. 

“He won’t be here,” Eryn said curtly. Dammit, she was doing what she always did when she was sad. She acted pissed instead. That was always her defense and it seemed it wasn’t going to change anytime soon. 

“What? Why?”

Duncan took over the explanation, giving Eryn a warning look out of the corner of his eye. 

King Cailan looked more than upset after Duncan finished the story of the Cousland’s undoing. “This is horrible. Lady Cousland, you have my word that Arl Howe will pay for what he has done. It will be the first thing I do after we defeat these darkspawn.”

Eryn nodded and thanked him before walking by him toward the bridge. She couldn’t talk about it anymore. If one more person asked about it she was going to scream. 

“Alright, I would suggest getting something to eat and then resting. You will begin your Joining shortly after midday. Find a Grey Warden named Alistair when you’re ready, he will guide you in the next part.”

Eryn nodded and waited for him to walk away before letting her shoulders slump. Maker, how was she supposed to get through this again? Here she was, getting ready to become a Grey Warden, and her parents, sister-in-law, and nephew were dead. And for all she knew, Fergus was too. 

Bear pressed his cold nose against her hand with a whine and she instinctively let her hand relax on his head as she scratched. Well, she could only do what she was taught to do her whole life. Slow down, and carefully take one thing at a time. Bryce Cousland preached that, which always made Eryn laugh because she knew how both of her parents were in their youth. 

Eryn’s throat closed up again and she took a deep, shuddering breath. Bear leaned against her with a whine, looking up at her with big eyes. “I know, I miss them so much, but they wouldn’t want me to be like this.”

Bear barked in agreement and tugged on her sleeve. Eryn chuckled and tugged on the mabari’s ear. “Alright, food and a nap, then we’ll find this Alistair Duncan mentioned.”

* * *

Eryn woke to the feeling of Bear’s slobber running down her cheek. She wiped it off with an exasperated sigh and she stared up at Bear’s panting face. 

“I’m up! Get your dog breath out of my face,” she laughed. 

Bear sat on his haunches and cocked his head, acting innocent. 

“Cheek,” Eryn muttered as she slipped on the heavier parts of her armor. She buckled on her daggers and quiver and grabbed her bow. She stepped out of her tent into the bright, midday sunlight and started to search for Alistair. Duncan had mentioned him frequently on their trip down here, so she had a feeling she would know him if she actually saw and talked to him. 

She asked many soldiers, mages, and Maker knows who else before someone pointed her toward a ramp leading to an upper part of the ruins. Eryn looked around with wide eyes as she walked through the ruins. They were beautiful and it made her wonder what they looked like in their glory days. 

She finally heard voices and she made her way towards them. She reached the uppermost tier of the ruins and she couldn’t help but wonder what was going on. 

A mage and who she assumed was Alistair were having a heated argument. Well, the mage was getting upset and Alistair was being a cheek. 

“What is it now? Haven’t Grey Wardens already asked enough of the Circle?”

“I simply came to deliver a message from the Revered Mother, Ser Mage. She desires your presence.”

Eryn didn’t know what was going on exactly so she took that time to study the person who was supposed to help her through this intricate process that was the Joining. Just looking at him told her he knew how to use every weapon he had on him. He had a thick, strong build that was perfect for the sword and shield he carried. The face though…something was familiar about this man’s face. 

The nose and the broad, strong jaw and chin reminded her of someone, but she couldn’t think of who. She shook it off as something her tired, grieving mind was making up and she waited for him to be finished. 

“Your glibness does you no credit.”

Alistair smirked and Eryn felt her stomach flip a little. Maker’s breath, she really must be losing her mind. She was never one to become a fawning maiden over a pretty face. This man had that boyish, crooked grin that she always seemed to notice more than others, though. She hastily crushed the feelings and focused on the task at hand. She had to become a Grey Warden so she could do what her parents wanted her to do. She had to make the difference they wanted her to make. She had to focus on doing the best she could, not on the boyishly handsome face of her fellow Grey Warden.

“And here I was thinking we were getting along so well. I was even going to name one of my children after you. The grumpy one.”

Eryn couldn’t help it. She barely managed to stifle a snicker before it could escape. 

“Enough, I will speak to the woman if I must. Get out of my way, fool,” the mage spat, stomping away. 

The clink of armor made Eryn look back at the Grey Warden instead of the mage’s retreating back. Dammit, that boyish grin was back. “You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.”

Eryn quirked a brow. So not only was this man capable of being a little shit, he was a sarcastic little shit. She had a feeling they would get along. Before she and Duncan reached Ostagar, Eryn told herself to try to accept how her life was going and to try to get along with the other Wardens. It wasn’t their fault her life went to shit so fast, but she was sure they could help her. 

Maybe it was a good thing she met Alistair first, his sarcastic demeanor was a breath of fresh air. 

“I know exactly what you mean,” Eryn joked back, crossing her arms.

That boyish grin came back with vengeance. Oh Maker, his eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled too. “It’s like a big party. We can all stand in a circle and hold hands. That would give the darkspawn something to think about.” He paused and stepped a little closer, brow scrunching a little. “Wait, we haven’t met, have we? I don’t suppose you happen to be another mage?”

The humorous glint in his eye was enough to make Eryn grin. “Would that make your day worse?”

“Ha! I only like to know my chances of being turned into a frog or not.” 

Bear decided to let out a short woof at that moment and Alistair glanced down at the mabari. “Hold on, you must be that new recruit Duncan wrote about.” He paused and Eryn had to keep herself composed as he shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his head. “I should have recognized you right away I apologize.”

Eryn held her hand out. “Eryn. Eryn Cousland.” She glanced down at Bear when he nudged against her. “And this is Bear.”

Alistair’s grin brightened again and Eryn wondered how that mage could ever get angry at him. He was polite for the most part. “Right! That was the name.” Alistair gestured to her and started to walk down the ramp toward the main part of the camp.

“You know…it just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?”

Eryn hummed in thought. “Probably because we’re too smart for you.”

Alistair arched a brow. “Oh, and what does that make you?”

Eryn sheepishly tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Just one of the boys?” 

Alistair threw his head back and laughed and Eryn couldn’t help but smile. She definitely could see herself being friends with Alistair. 

“So…was I interrupting something when I came here?” she asked. 

“Oh no, the Circle is here on the King’s request and the Chantry doesn’t like that one bit.” His face turned down into the first frown she saw from him. “They just love letting mages know how unwelcome they are, which puts me in an awkward position. I was once a Templar.”

Eryn arched a brow. She was surprised the Chantry let one of their Templars go to the Wardens. “I suppose that would make things slightly awkward.”

The Warden chuckled. “You have no idea. Anyway, I’m going to be accompanying you throughout all of this, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

Eryn bit her lip and decided to just get this part over with. “Can you tell me more of the Joining? What exactly is involved?”

Alistair grimaced with a sigh. “I cannot tell you much, I’m sorry.”

A pout formed on Eryn’s lips before she could stop it. It wasn’t his fault and he probably wanted to follow the rules, since he just joined the order himself. “It’s alright, I understand,” she paused and decided to clear the awkward air that formed, “So tell me about yourself. You joined six month ago?”

Her fellow Warden looked shocked. “How did-“

“Duncan spoke of you on our way here.”

Eryn almost didn’t know what to do when Alistair rubbed the back of his head with a goofy grin on his face. “Really? I hope it was only good things.”

They ran into Daveth and Eryn’s mood went south with him. 

Eryn sometimes forgot how lecherous men could be. “You watch my back, and I’ll watch yours,” she was saying, trying to be nice. 

“I’ll be watching your back alright,” Daveth replied with a wink. 

Eryn’s lip curled at Daveth’s confident smirk. Before she was thinking, she reached out and grabbed the collar of the twit’s leather shirt and shoved him up against the post behind him. “What was that?” she growled, glaring up at him. 

Damn, and here she hoped she would give a good first impression to her fellow Wardens.


	2. Recruits

Alistair was slightly confused and wondering if he was possibly in love. 

Duncan had told him that his recruit had a short temper. 

He was just amazed with how Eryn was able to practically lift Daveth off the ground and threaten him like that. He stood back with the mabari, who didn’t look concerned, and watched the spectacle. Eryn wasn’t a tall person, she was actually incredibly short and the top of her head barely reached his chin…if he was looking down. 

But, the strong, stocky lines of her body looked strong and she was showing that incredible strength. 

Short temper, strength, and beauty. Now he just needed to see the lightning fast reflexes and speed Duncan praised in his letters. 

Eryn dropped Daveth and the man fell like a sack of potatoes. She smiled politely down at him before walking away, leaving Daveth in a daze. 

Alistair nodded to the recruit and quickly walked to catch up with Eryn, who was grumbling. “A man is nice, and nothing happens to him. A woman is nice and that’s apparently an invitation to shag.”

Alistair couldn’t help but snort. “Well, he won’t make that mistake again.” And neither will I, watch your tongue, Alistair.

Eryn sighed and halted in her tracks. She looked up at him and Alistair noticed how blue her eyes were. Oh Maker, he was in trouble. Her bottom lip was set in an angry pout now and she looked adorable. “Hmph, he better not. Next time, Bear will take care of him.”

The mabari let out a woof and Alistair made another mental note. Do not anger the mabari either. 

Alistair spent the next hour or so pointing out certain troops to Eryn and explaining anything she asked about. The young Warden started studying her face again and he remembered something Duncan mentioned when they ran into each other earlier. 

The head Warden had pulled him to the side and gave him a long lecture about the recruits. 

_“Now, Miss Cousland has just come from a very difficult situation. Help her get settled and be kind to her. She needs all the comrades she can get right now.” Duncan had put a hand on his shoulder before he could walk away. “Alistair, don’t get distracted either.”_

Alistair now knew what his mentor meant. Eryn was beautiful, and when she wasn’t angry, she was witty and nice. She was what he supposed was typical of a pretty girl. Big eyes, full lips, a cute nose. The spot where the soft curves of her neck and jaw met was distracting too. Alistair couldn’t help but wonder if her hair was as smooth and soft as it looked. The weak rays of sunlight managed to hit it just right, bringing out some golden strands in her light brown hair. Half of it was pulled back, letting the rest fall at the nape of her neck. 

All in all, she was very distracting. 

Growing up in the Chantry didn’t allow Alistair to have these sort of thoughts often. The women he usually saw were either Sisters or they were the female recruits among the Templars. Joining the Wardens have opened more than enough doors for him and that was one of them. He watched Eryn as she squatted down and doted on Bear for a moment. He desperately hoped she survived the Joining. 

“So, how long have you had him?”

Eryn looked up at him, flicking some wayward strands of hair from her eyes. “I’ve had him for three years now.”

Alistair squatted down next to her and held out a hand to the dog. Spending many nights in the mabari kennels at Redcliffe let him know more about the dogs than anyone. Bear tentatively sniffed his hand before butting his head against it. Alistair grinned and petted the top of Bear’s head. “Was it love at first sight?” he joked with a wink. 

Eryn grinned and started to scratch behind Bear’s ears. “Of course. It was funny, I was visiting the kennels with my father and—“ She paused and took a deep, shaking breath before continuing, “I was visiting the kennels with my father and Bear dug his way out of he and his sibling’s pen to get to me. He leaped at me, covered with dirt and all and refused to be held by anyone else. My father made me put him back, but I woke up the next morning with him at the end of my bed. He had escaped from the kennel and followed us all the way back home. He was just a wee pup then.”

She started to vigorously scratch at a spot on the dog’s neck and Bear’s leg started to thump against the ground and his mouth opened into a doggy grin. 

“Father was forced to let me keep him. Fergus was so jealous,” she chuckled. 

Her face fell again and she sighed, standing up. “Well, we better find out what Duncan wants us to do next.”

Alistair watched her retreating back and he looked at Bear, who was now whining. 

“What happened?” he whispered. 

What happened to make her go from smiling and happy one moment to glum the next?

* * *

Eryn had to keep herself from glaring at Daveth the whole time they were in the forest. The bastard was a good shot with his bow at least. 

She knew this was the Grey Warden’s way of testing their recruits, but her pragmatic mind was irritated about getting the vials of Darkspawn blood. Surely the Warden’s had the resources to store them?

One plus was that she was getting to see how Alistair fought. She hoped she would stay near him after the Joining. He was quickly proving to be a decent person and a potential friend and Eryn believed that was what she needed right now. 

She was happy Bear liked him. Bear usually had an uncanny judge of character and the mabari let Alistair pet him and everything. 

After trudging through the Kocari Wilds for an hour, they finally came upon the ruins. 

“I can see why Duncan wanted to recruit you.”

Eryn glanced over her shoulder at Alistair. They had all decided to split up and look for the treaties, but Alistair seemed to have other ideas. 

“And why is that?” she teased, following Bear as he sniffed along the ground. 

“You’re impressive. I’ve never seen anyone fight with daggers like that,” he grinned at her before he continued, “you’re as fast as he said you were.”

Oh Maker, why does his grin have to be the boyish kind? It caused Eryn’s pulse to quicken and she couldn’t seem to meet his eyes. “What else did he tell you?” she probed. She honestly wondered what the older Warden said about her. 

Maybe it would distract her from Alistair’s smile. 

“Oh, the usual. You’re strong, fast, think quickly on your feet…he failed to mention that you look pretty while doing all of it.”

Eryn looked up at the Warden in shock and instead of the irritation she usually felt with a comment like that, all she felt was a warm fluttering feeling in her gut. Alistair’s cheeks were red and he wouldn’t meet her eyes and was slowly inching away from her. 

Oh Maker, he probably thought she would toss him like Daveth. 

He was adorable. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly with a bashful grin, tucking a lock of hair behind her hair. Clearing her throat, she gestured to Bear, “Let’s get back to work, shall we?”

Maker, she couldn’t do this right now. First of all, she had only met Alistair. Second, she couldn’t imagine being close to someone so soon after losing everyone she cared for. The wounds were still open and needed time to heal before she even thought about things like that. Hopefully, she could someday. 

Knowing this, she wondered why she involuntarily was looking toward the Warden. 

Her father always told her the heart and brain thought differently, now she saw what he meant. 

She was determined to have her brain win this round.


	3. Coping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eryn helps Alistair deal with what happened at Ostagar (happens before Lothering)

It had been two weeks and he still couldn’t believe what happened. 

Duncan, his friends…everyone was gone. 

He sat outside, offering to take first watch again and he stared at the fire. Luckily, Morrigan stayed far away from them and Eryn looked tired when she went into her tent, so Alistair was going to let her sleep longer. This gave him some time to himself and he welcomed it. 

Why wasn’t he with them? Why didn’t he die at their sides? Why didn’t he insist on fighting in the battle? He should have addressed Duncan’s blatant attempt to coddle and protect him. 

But, then again, if he wasn’t with Eryn, she might have died in the tower of Ishal and he would have died too, and then where would they be?

As if thought alone could summon her, a rustle of fabric and soft footsteps warned him of Eryn’s presence. She sighed and plopped down beside him next to the fire, wrapping her arms around her knees. 

She didn’t say anything for a while, and Alistair was she didn’t. He didn’t know if he could talk about anything at the moment.

“I know how you feel,” she suddenly said, and Alistair knew she was looking at him. 

“Do you?” he asked, scoffing a little. 

What would a nobleman’s daughter know of this? She still had family and friends to go back to for all he knew. 

“Yes, I do, more than you know.”

Alistair barked out a laugh. “I know what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate it but I don’t think you can help.”

He looked at Eryn out of the corner of his eye. She was staring at the fire now and she took a deep breath. “Did Duncan ever tell you how I was recruited?”

Alistair shrugged, trying to act like even hearing the Grey Warden’s name didn’t hurt. “No, he didn’t.”

“Ah, I suppose writing about how my family was slaughtered might be a downer.”

Alistair felt like the air got kicked out of his lungs and he almost fell backwards in shock. “What?” he wheezed. 

Eryn shrugged like it was nothing, but she started to wipe at her nose and she was blinking rapidly now. Alistair’s heart clenched at the sight of tears filling her eyes. 

Alistair opened his mouth to say something, but he had absolutely no idea what to say. So she didn’t have _anyone_? He suddenly remembered how she became glum sometimes after talking about her past and all of the puzzle pieces fit together. 

“Arl Howe had come to our keep and acted like he was going to march south with my father and brother. My brother marched ahead with most of our forces and my father and Howe was supposed to accompany him the following morning.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “My father never got the chance. Howe’s forces arrived in the middle of the night and if Bear wouldn’t have woken me up, I would have died. They killed my sister-in-law and nephew and my mother and I fought our way to my father.”

She sniffed again and vigorously rubbed at her nose. “So, yes, I _**do**_ know how you feel. You feel like shit because you should have been there with them, right? I had to leave my bleeding father and my own mother in a pantry to die so I could escape with Duncan.”

Alistair just stared at her, words failing him once again. Maker, Duncan said _nothing_ about this in his letters. 

Shame bubbled up in him when he realized he kind of snapped at her a moment ago. “Eryn…I—“

She held up her hand. “Don’t apologize because you obviously didn’t know. And two, it’s okay to feel like this…Duncan actually gave me good advice on it.”

Alistair stared at her intently and he tied to gulp down the lump in his throat. 

“He told me it was alright to mourn and to be angry and confused, but he said dwelling on it won’t let you move forward and live how they wanted you to live…I think he would have said the same to you, Alistair.”

Alistair clenched his eyes shut and his shoulders shook with the effort to keep his sobs in. The first family he had known ever was gone…but he still had one of them, and she was _here_. She was still there and offering her hand to him and he didn’t realize that he was swatting it away until now. She was a Grey Warden too and she was in this with him. 

Her hand tentatively rested on his shoulder and he leaned into the embrace, allowing her to wrap her arm around his shoulders and hold him close. All of the grief he kept bottled in started to seep out and he rested his head on her shoulder.

Eryn started to rub his arm and she rocked him a little and he realized she was shaking too. 

“I’m sorry,” he managed to choke out.

He felt her shake her head and a small sniffle came from her.

Alistair didn’t know how long they sat there, both trying not to cry. Maker, how were they supposed to stop the Blight when they could barely stay put together?

They finally sat up straight and Alistair wiped at his eyes and cleared his throat before looking at her. 

She was wiping at her own eyes and she gave him a bashful smile before flicking some hair from her eyes. “How are we going to do this, Alistair?”

He let out a shaky laugh. “You tell me.”

She laughed too and she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. It was funny, her head was more on the side of his arm rather than his shoulder because she was so short. 

“Promise me you’ll stay and help me, I can’t do this by myself,” she whispered. 

Alistair wouldn’t dream of doing anything else. He and Eryn were the only Grey Warden’s left. They were the only ones that understood each other. 

“What if you decide to run off to Orlais? Living in sin and eating cake for the rest of our days doesn’t sound so bad either,” he joked. 

Eryn snorted and he felt her shake with laughter. “That doesn’t sound so bad.” She paused and thumped his leg. “As long as living in sin means you wearing a dress and dancing the Remigold.”

Alistair pulled away and she toppled over when he suddenly moved, landing on her side behind him. “Are you **that** eager to see me in a dress?”

Eryn giggled and he lifted his arm and twisted so he could look back at her. “What? Watching you dance wouldn’t be a bad sight you know,” she teased. 

Alistair arched a brow, trying to not see too much in her words. “Is that so? If it means I can eat that stinky Orlesian cheese afterwards, I suppose it can’t be that bad.”

Eryn scrunched up her nose. “You actually like that stuff? It’s too smelly for me.”

Alistair scoffed. “See, now we can’t be friends.”

Eryn pushed on his shoulder and rolled onto her back, laughing. 

Alistair laid back himself and they were shoulder to shoulder, looking up at the stars. 

“Alistair?”

“Hm?”

“You know that you can always talk to me, right? And I meant it when I said I needed you. You…are my only other friend besides Bear now.”

Alistair looked over at her and she looked back at him. When their eyes met, Alistair felt something shift inside of him. While he knew Eryn could take care of herself just fine, but he was determined to be there for her now. He wanted to grow and be the Grey Warden he was determined to be and he knew he could if she was there growing with him.

But, he ruined the moment with his usual social awkwardness. 

“I’m in second place?!”

Eryn’s face scrunched up as she tried to hold back her laughter and it eventually escaped. Alistair decided that he liked hearing Eryn laugh. She had an infectious, loud, full laugh that made the people around her want to laugh too. 

Soon, he couldn’t help but laugh along with her. 

They finally quieted down and stared up at the sky again. 

For the first time in two weeks, Alistair felt **good**. The guilt and sadness that had been surrounding him lifted a little just knowing that Eryn knew exactly how he felt. 

He glanced over at her again while she looked up at the stars. He saw her hold one of her hands up a little and start tracing constellations with her finger and his heart fluttered in his chest at the sight. 

Should he dare hope that these feelings that were budding in his chest could grow into something? 

He didn’t know. Everything was unsure at the moment and all they could do was go one day at a time.

Alistair had a feeling things would get better with her by his side, and that was enough for him.


	4. Nipping in the Bud

Eryn wondered how she came to be in her situation. 

Here she was, traveling with a bitchy apostate, a murderous qunari, a woman who saw visions, her dog, and her charming fellow Grey Warden. No wonder people didn’t take them seriously, they were as rag tag as they come. 

What really baffled her was why people thought she was a bloody dwarf. 

Eryn had no misconceptions about her height. She knew she was shorter and stouter than the average woman. But she did not look like a dwarf. She didn’t have the typical…face and shape. At least from the pictures and few dwarves she had ever seen. 

Alistair thought it was hilarious, the little nug shit. 

“So, which part of Orzhammar do you come from?” he asked. 

They had just stopped to trade with a merchant they happened to pass by on the road and the old man had took one look at her and started to show her his dwarven goods. It took him five minutes to realize that she wasn’t a dwarf. 

“Alistair, if you ask me that again you’ll regret it,” she growled, kicking at a rock. 

“Will I?”

She looked up at him with the angriest pout she could muster. “You bet your giant arse you will.”

“Giant?!”

“Yes. Giant.”

Alistair glanced over his shoulder at his arse. “It’s not that big is it?”

Eryn bit back the flirtatious remark she wanted to say. His arse was perfect, but that wasn’t a jar of worms she was brave enough to open at the moment. “I don’t know. Is it?”

Alistair playfully glared down his nose at her. “You are a cruel woman.”

“Don’t call me a dwarf and I’ll play nicer.”

Alistair’s lips turned up in a tiny grin and Eryn couldn’t help but smile back. 

“You two are adorable.”

Eryn jumped and turned to look at Leliana, who was walking behind them. “What?”

Leliana shrugged and picked up the pace so she was walking on Eryn’s other side. “You two. Or am I mistaken about something?”

Eryn quickly put two and two together. Shit, she knew that while the idea of being in a relationship with Alistair wasn’t a bad idea…it just wasn’t going to happen. And like she usually did when she was uncomfortable, she made jokes. “Hear that, Alistair? Our jokes are adorable.” 

“Are they? What a relief.”

While Eryn thought Leliana was slightly crazy due to her ‘vision’, she had to admit that the woman was smart. Leliana arched a brow with a small grin. “Of course, jokes between friends are always adorable.” 

She nudged Eryn’s shoulder with her own and her grin turned apologetic. 

Eryn rolled her eyes. It wasn’t the first time someone assumed she and Alistair were a couple. 

She peeked up at her fellow Grey Warden and she noticed an expression that was far too serious for him on his face. 

Playfully, she elbowed him to get his attention and she smiled up at him. Maker’s breath, she literally had to look up when they talked. 

Eryn pondered as they continued on their way, blocking out Alistair and Morrigan’s quips at each other. 

The young warden didn’t know what to think about how people thought she and Alistair were together all the time. She knew their banter could get borderline flirting sometimes, but that was just their sense of humor. Alistair had quickly became her rock to lean on when all of this became overwhelming. Maker, they had barely started on their journey and she found everyone turning to her for leadership. They haven’t even gained any support yet and she was feeling all of the pressure being put on her shoulders. 

She remembered asking Alistair why he didn’t want to lead the group, him being six months her senior in the Grey Wardens and all, and she had to respect his wishes when he said he was uncomfortable with it. That didn’t stop him from supporting her and giving advice when she needed it. 

And she had decided to not think about him in a romantic sense, but that didn’t stop her from noticing the strong set of his jaw or how his eyes would crinkle up in the corners when he smiled or…

She glanced down at the ‘giant’ arse she commented on earlier. 

Eryn started to imagine what would happen if she hypothetically tried to start a relationship. They were being thrown into danger every day. What if she lost him like she lost her family? What if someone betrayed them? 

Her heart clenched at the thought and she took a deep breath. 

No, she couldn’t risk that again. 

So, she just accepted the hard facts and decided to spare Alistair the trouble. 

She wouldn’t be good for him anyway. Her parents had failed to marry her off simply because the suitors they introduced her to simply did not like her. Her mother used to lament how she was too assertive, independent, and loud for them. Her mother and father did say these things with a proud gleam in their eyes, though. 

While Eryn didn’t think Alistair cared too much about those sort of things, it still wasn’t a good idea. 

She must have got a gloomy expression on her face now because she felt a soft nudge against her shoulder and she looked up to see Alistair arching a brow down at her. Eryn shook her head with a reassuring grin and walked faster toward the front of the group. 

Maker, she wondered how she was going to nip this in the bud while she could…and that seemed almost as impossible as stopping the Blight.


	5. Nor I You

Alistair made a fool of himself constantly, he was always quick to confirm it. 

But he really did it this time. 

_Have you ever licked a lamp post in winter?_

What in Andraste’s name was he thinking?!

Then again, their conversation didn’t start out innocent either. They were talking about previous friendships and relationships they had before they became Grey Wardens. He found out she had only kissed a boy named Gilmore when she was young enough to have pig tails and that was one of her closest friends at Highever. She found out about his awkward attempt to kiss a village girl at Redcliffe.

Then, she said, “ _Since you grew up in the Chantry, have you ever…”_

He knew exactly what she was asking and without fail, the jokes to cover up his nervousness appeared. 

_“You know what I mean,”_ she had laughed. 

And then he started to talk about licking lamp posts in a sultry voice he didn’t know he possessed.

_“Now you’re making fun of me!”_

And then he just **had** to push it by asking if _she_ ever licked a lamp post in winter. 

He silently started to panic at his spot at the campfire, trying to avoid Eryn’s gaze. She was sitting next to him and the whole left side of his body seemed to be thrumming with energy simply because she was only a couple inches away. His words hung in the air and he momentarily wondered just what in the world he was trying to insinuate with those words. They should not have been said the way he did and now Eryn was going to hate him and refuse to talk to him ever again and—

Her laugh chased all of his fears away. “No, I can’t say I ever have,” she giggled, resting her chin on her hand. Her teasing, bright blue eyes stared up at him and Alistair had to remember to breathe. 

“Good. I hear it’s quite painful. I remember one of the youngest initiates did it on a dare once…there was pointing and laughing,” he tipped his head back, dramatically resting his hand on his head, “Oh the humanity!”

A deep, rich laugh escaped her mouth and Alistair just basked in the feeling he got in it. Eryn’s laugh was the type that could get anyone to laugh along with her. It was loud, full, and beautiful and Alistair’s chest had started to get a funny, tight feeling whenever he heard it now. 

And for some reason, he liked that funny feeling and that made him try to get her to laugh as often as possible. 

Maker, he knew he was falling for her quickly and he wasn’t willing to do anything to stop it. 

Which, made him say stupid things about lamp posts. 

Clearing his throat, he decided to throw her a bone, since she did bring it up. 

“I, myself, have also never don’t it. That.” 

She arched an amused brow up at his awkward stumbling. 

“Not that I haven’t thought about it, of course, but…you know.”

Alistair had been thinking about it a lot lately, especially when it involved the beautiful Warden next to him. He always stamped those thoughts out as soon as they came, feeling as if he was disrespecting her when they appeared. 

Eryn didn’t seem to be upset in the least, though. She seemed curious more than anything, which was confusing to Alistair. On their journey so far, she always seemed to shy away from conversations such as this. And even though she didn’t think he knew, she overheard her telling Leliana how afraid she was of getting close to anyone again. 

Alistair understood completely. He lost all of his friends, and he had similar thoughts before Eryn told him about her family and how scared she was. He didn’t want to get close to anyone anytime soon as well. 

Yet, she broke through the wall he built around himself those first couple weeks somehow. She tore them down and helped him see that he wasn’t alone and that he didn’t have to be alone either. She made him have hope again. That was when Alistair knew he wasn’t just attracted to her beauty and strength. He was attracted to everything about her. And that was when he made it his personal mission to get her to laugh as much as possible. 

He wondered if he could do what she did for him. He was nervous about the feelings he was starting to feel, but he was excited as well. He knew he would have to be patient, and be her friend before anything else, but he was willing to do anything she needed him to do. 

“So you’ve…never had the opportunity?” she finally asked, tilting her head. 

“Well,” he started, resting his elbows on his knees, “living in the Chantry, is…not exactly a life for rambunctious boys. They taught me to be a gentleman.” Alistair didn’t know where he found the courage to say what he said next, but the words were coming out of his mouth before he could think, “Especially in the presence of beautiful women such as yourself.”

He inwardly grimaced, wondering if he sounded like a fool or not. “That’s not so bad, is it?”

Forcing himself to look at her, the tight feeling came back tenfold at the look on her face. 

Eryn didn’t get flustered. She wasn’t one to stumble over words and she always seemed to know what to say. That was his job. 

But now, her tan skin had a light blush sitting high on her cheekbones and she was looking up at him with wide eyes. She bit her lip as she grinned. “You…think I’m beautiful?”

Sweet Maker, did she not see? 

“Of course you are and you know it.” He couldn’t stop his words now. Word vomit was starting and it wasn’t stopping. “You’re ravishing, resourceful, and all those other things you’d probably hurt me for not saying.”

Eryn pushed on his arm playfully before her expression turned serious. “I’d never hurt you,” she said softly, looking up at him. 

The tight feeling only became stronger and he was breathless as he stared at her. Normally, he would look away and say a joke to get rid of the tension, but he didn’t.

“Nor I you.”

He tried to convey all of his feelings into those three words, hoping she could see that he would never dare to hurt her or put her in danger. And he had no intentions of dying on her anytime soon. 

Her bottom lip quivered for a moment before she closed the space between them and leaned against him, resting her head on his arm. She wasn’t tall enough to rest it on his shoulder. His heart swelled in his chest when she tentatively reached forward and rested her hand on his. 

Alistair finally was able to put a word to the tight feeling in his chest, and he knew he would have to wait a long time before he could say it to her. 

But, like he said, he would wait.


	6. Anderfel Dogs

“Your parents, what were they like?” 

Eryn looked away from the dagger she was inspecting from the merchant’s cart and stared up at Alistair in mild surprise. “What?”

He did that adorable shuffle he always did when he was nervous and he looked at a nearby sword. “Your parents. I’ve heard a little of them from living with Eamon,” he paused and looked at her again apologetically, “Unless you don’t want to. I understand.”

Maker, he was too good for this world. 

They had stopped to camp for the night and everyone was surprised to find Bodahn Feddic racing down the road to catch up with them. Eryn was more than happy to agree to let the merchant follow them for now and offer protection for a discount on his wares. 

Which led her to her current situation. She and Alistair decided to look for new weapons for their companions, mainly Leliana and Sten, when he asked the question. 

Did she want to talk about her parents? Did she want to tell him about Fergus and her sister-in-law and nephew?

Her stomach didn’t roll and her throat didn’t close up at the thought of them for once and she found herself wanting to tell Alistair about them. She wanted to give her new best friend a glimpse of her past and the people she loved.

“Mother taught me how to fight. She always said something about how the daughter of the Seawolf needed to know how to take care of herself.”

Alistair’s wide eyes had her laughing. “Hold on. Your mother taught you how to fight?”

“Well, she did help defend Denerim after Maric took it back. That’s how she met my father. They hated each other at first.”

Alistair just blinked at her in shock and she suddenly remembered that most people saw her parents as legends basically. 

“You do realize your parents had a song written after them?”

Eryn shrugged. Eleanor Cousland was always just Mother to her, not a war hero. It was actually strange to think of her parents being that important. “Yes, and he always sang it to her and Fergus and I came to hate it. Anyway, she taught me how to pick locks and about sailing too. She also demanded that I learn how to be a lady, even if she didn’t enforce it that well.” She moved onto where Bodahn kept his armor. “Father was my best friend. He never counted me out and he included me in as much as he could. I remember being called his shadow so many times.”

She traced the edge of a chest plate with a finger. “He called me, ‘pup’. He always seemed to know what advice to give, even when I was in trouble. I always hear his voice whenever I need it.”

Oh Maker, now her throat was closing up. 

She tried to gulp down through the lump in her throat. She took a deep shaking breath, gripping the edge of the chest plate. “I hope Fergus is alright,” she managed to choke out.

Alistair rested a hand on her shoulder and before she knew it, she was turning toward him and burying her face in his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and tried not to cry. 

Thankfully, he didn’t say anything. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her.

Eryn finally pulled away and she wiped at her nose as she looked up at him. Maker, she couldn’t remember seeing such pretty eyes on a man. They reminded her of warm honey or cinnamon and they were the most expressive part of him. Now, they were narrowed slightly with concern, silently asking if she was alright. 

“What about you? You mentioned a mother before?”

Alistair shrugged, reaching for a random bauble on the cart. “Yes, but she died when I was very young. Arl Eamon is really the only parent figure I ever had, well, besides from the Revered Mother at the chantry in Redcliffe.”

Eryn frowned at the memory of the conversation. Alistair told her about how he was raised by the Arl, but she could tell he was leaving some clues out. “Tell me about her.”

Alistair smiled softly and Eryn’s heart fluttered at the sight. “She was kind to me, even when everyone else wasn’t.” He turned to fully face her with a smile. “She even let me sleep in the Chantry when the kennels were too cold.”

Wait, what?!

“What?” Eryn asked softly, narrowing her eyes. 

“The Revered Mother, she let me sleep in—“

“I’m talking about the kennels, Ali.”

Alistair flinched and he rubbed the back of his head. 

“Did the Arlessa make you sleep in the mabari kennels?!” Eryn hissed. 

His face told her the answer. 

“How could she do that to a child?!” Eryn seethed, pacing. The Warden was beyond pissed. She could imagine why the woman didn’t like Alistair, with the rumors surrounding him and her husband, after all—but making him sleep outside with the damn dogs?! 

“Eryn.”

“Even if you were Eamon’s bastard that still doesn’t give her the right to do that!”

“Eryn!”

“What?!”

She halted in her tracks, looking up at him. She dared him to justify what they did to him. 

“Yes, I had a bad childhood. Nothing will change that, I’m not going to let my frustration from then make me the dastardly bastard Isolde wanted me to be now. And, if you recall, I didn’t say Eamon raised me. Wild Anderfel dogs did.”

Eryn knew he was trying to get away from the subject with humor. And she knew he had a point. It wasn’t like they could do anything about his childhood now. Still, she was just so angry and damn confused at the same time. 

How could someone who was practically treated like dirt still end up as kind and lighthearted as he was? It almost didn’t make sense at all. 

Deciding to drop it, she arched a brow and crossed her arms. “Oh really? That must have been tough for them.”

“They were flying dogs you see.”

Eryn’s groan could be heard through the whole camp.


	7. Royal Bastards

Today had to be the most horrible day on the road so far. 

Not only was Alistair feeling more anxious as they approached Redcliffe because of the whole bastard thing, Morrigan was more bitchy than usual, Leliana was broody, Sten was….well, Sten, and even Bear was cranky. 

In short, everyone was in a bad mood. 

He sat on a log by the fire, whittling away at a large stick he found when they were looking for firewood. He was on first watch and it gave him time to consider what was making him cranky. 

He had to tell Eryn who’s bastard he was before they got to Redcliffe. He would rather her hear it from him than Eamon or someone of that sort. The young Warden grumbled and looked up at the stars above, sending a quick prayer. Maker knew he needed the courage to tell her. 

Would it change their friendship? Would she start to coddle him and not let him fight at the front with her like Duncan did? Would she think less of him? Would she treat him differently?

Eryn didn’t seem like the type that would do that sort of thing, but then again, who knew? Alistair didn’t think Duncan would coddle him either, and look what happened. 

“Whatcha making?” 

Alistair jumped, almost throwing the small knife and stick. He looked to the other side of the fire to see Eryn trying to hold back giggles. Oh, right. She was supposed to relieve him. 

“I…don’t quite know yet.”

Eryn walked around the fire and sat down next to him, studying the stick he was holding intently. He took that moment to admire her…again. Maker, she was pretty. Her lips looked softer than usual as they slightly pulled out in a pout as she studied what he was whittling. The way her blue eyes narrowed as she concentrated was adorable. Alistair momentarily wondered just how soft her light brown hair was as it slightly fell into her face. 

He became distracted by the soft curve of her jaw once again and he quickly caught himself when she asked, “Is everything alright? I feel like something has been bothering you lately.”

Alistair opened his mouth to give the typical joke to avoid the subject, but her earnest gaze made him freeze. 

He sighed, sheathing the knife. “I need to tell you something. I, ah, probably should have told you earlier.”

Eryn’s expression became blank for a moment. She took a deep breath and turned to fully face him by straddling the log. “I’m not going to like this, am I?” she asked, trying to sound teasing. Alistair could tell she was nervous.

Damn, great start. 

“I don’t know,” he said carefully, “I doubt it. I never liked it, that’s for sure.”

Eryn tilted her head a little, giving him a curious look before nodding. 

Right, that was his cue. 

“I told you before how Arl Eamon raised me? That my mother was a serving girl at the castle and he took me in?”

She nodded again, looking slightly suspicious now. “Yes, I remember.”

“Oh? You do? I’m used to people not remembering what I say because usually I’m saying something stupid and—“

“Alistair,” she warned, furrowing her brow. 

She was starting to get that expression and tone of voice whenever he talked like that now. 

“Why wouldn’t I remember what you tell me? I hate it when you talk like that,” Eryn added on gently. The earnest look was back again and Alistair’s stomach flipped at her words. Normally people laughed when he called himself stupid or something. Eryn just looked flat out angry or sad when he did. 

That…was something he should probably stop doing. 

“Anyway, you were saying?” she added on, arching a brow. 

Alistair cleared his throat, savoring the moment in case it’s the last one she treated him normally. “Well, the reason he did that was because…well,” he took a deep breath, “because my father was King Maric. Which made Cailan my half-brother, I suppose.”

Eryn gave him a blank look, blinking rapidly. Suddenly, her face was too close and the little pout was back as she stared at him. Alistair leaned back, gulping down the lump in his throat and tried to calm his pounding heart. 

“I knew it! I thought you looked like someone when I first saw you. It all makes sense now!” she suddenly exclaimed, smacking her palm with her fist. “You have the nose and jaw.”

Alistair stared at her, bewildered. Wait, she was looking at his face close enough to notice the similarities?

“What?”

Eryn’s face fell again and she looked up at him with wide, sad eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alistair’s stomach flipped uncomfortably again and his chest felt tight. He had to look away at the fire. “I would have told you sooner but…it never really meant anything to me.” He twirled the stick he was holding between his fingers. “I was inconvenient, a possible threat to Cailan’s rule so they kept me secret. I’ve never talked about it to anyone.”

Mustering his courage, he finally looked at her again. “Everyone who knew either resented me for it or they coddled me…” his throat closed up and he tried to keep his voice even, “Even Duncan kept me out of the fighting because of it. I didn’t want you to know as long as possible, I’m sorry.”

They both remained silent for many moments, with just the sound of the crickets and the crackling of the fire to fill the air. Sweet Maker, what did she think about it? She grew up the daughter of a Teryn so she had to understand the inner machinations of the whole situation. 

“I think I understand,” she finally said. 

Alistair let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, feeling more relieved than he had in a while. 

“Oh, good. I’m glad. It’s not like I got special treatment for it, anyhow.” He tossed his stick into the fire. “At any rate, that’s it. That’s what I had to tell you. I thought you should know about it.”

Eryn nodded and hummed in thought for a moment. Then she was leaning forward with the mischievous grin he had come to love. “That’s it? You’re not hiding anything else are you?”

The Warden let out a laugh before grinning back. “Besides my unholy love of fine cheese and a minor obsession with my hair, no. That’s it. Just the prince thing.” 

Eryn snickered. “Oh? You thought the hair obsession was a secret? That’s rich. I see you fuss with it more than I fuss with mine!”

Alistair let out a playful scoff. “My lady, you wound me. Your hair simply does not demand the maintenance mine does.” 

Eryn threw back her head and laughed, which was becoming another one of Alistair’s favorite sights. Her face became a little more serious again. “So what does this mean for you, Alistair?”

Ah, as pragmatic as ever. Eryn was always the sort that wanted to get everything figured out first before jumping in. Of course she would want to know every detail.

“I have no illusions about my status. However, it’s always been made very clear that I’m a commoner and now a Grey Warden and in no way in line for the throne,” he cleared his throat, “So that means that I’m staying here and that the situation is fine by me.”

He looked at the fire again. “So can we move on and pretend you still think I’m some…nobody who was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens?”

“That’s not really what you think, is it?” she asked quietly. 

Alistair looked at her again and his heart clenched when he saw the sad expression again. For once, he didn’t have a witty answer to deflect. He looked at the fire. Before he could process what was happening, her hand was resting on his cheek and forcing him to face her. Alistair tried to not think about how her skin was still soft, despite the fact she had calluses on her fingers and a bandage wrapped around her palm. 

“I _never_ thought you were just some nobody, and I count myself very lucky that you are here. And if I’ve ever done anything to make you think that way I am so sorry,” she said, voice full of conviction. 

The silence after her statement could have been cut with a knife. Alistair’s heart was pounding as he turned more to face her. He reached up and wrapped his fingers around hers, slowly lowering her hand. “You haven’t done anything to make me think that, I swear,” he managed to stammer out. 

Eryn’s bottom lip quivered slightly and she let out a long sigh. Alistair squeezed her hand. This was not how he saw this conversation going. 

“Alistair, you’re so kind, funny, and everything else a good man is,” she managed to say, staring down at their hands. She bit her lip before continuing. “A nobody is the last thing I would call you, and I wish you could see that.”

A lump formed in Alistair’s throat and he stared down at their hands too, trying to blink away the tears that suddenly formed. 

Maker, her hands were so little compared to his. His hand seemed to engulf hers and her skin felt soft against his own. “Thank you,” he managed to croak. 

Eryn gently pulled her hand from his own and reached up to wrap her arms around him. Alistair leaned into the hug, daring to wrap his arms around her as well. The scent of heather surrounded him and he basked in the feel of her in his arms. Despite their significant height difference, this felt…right. 

He found himself not wanting to let go.

He reluctantly parted when she pulled away and she gave him a smile. She playfully nudged his shoulder. “So, should I call you ‘your Highness’ when I’m cross with you?”

Alistair snorted out a laugh. “Please don’t.”

“How else will you know I’m angry at you?”

“I think you tossing me gives me a hint.”

“I cannot toss you.”

Alistair clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “Tell that to poor Daveth.”

Eryn rolled her eyes and she shoved him again, laughing. 

Alistair basked in the sound, just happy that the night didn’t end as horribly as he thought it would.


	8. Handsome

Eryn hated undead. 

She hated pompous Orlesian women. 

She hated cruelty to children and mabari.

And she especially hated demons. 

All she wanted to do after fighting to the main hall of Redcliffe Castle was sleep for a thousand years, but duty calls. 

She, Leliana, Morrigan, Alistair, and Bear were heading to the Circle of Magi to save Connor because Eryn would be damned if she left a child to that fate. And she didn’t want to hear about the political bullshit that would happen if Isolde died. Blood magic was also just not an option. 

Eryn wasn’t going to play around with that shit. 

She knew she was probably scaring her companions with her constant grumbling as they rode—Isolde may be a bitch but at least she gave them horses—and she frankly didn’t care. 

She didn’t like anything about this. 

First, Isolde keeps an orphan in the kennels just because of the rumors surrounding him, then she hid her son away from the world and lied to her husband simply because he was a mage. 

To say Eryn disliked Isolde would have been the biggest understatement ever. 

And then Teagan’s weak flirting did nothing for her mood when they arrived. 

She finally calmed down when they camped for the night. 

Eryn offered to take first watch and she sat next to the fire with Bear, idly scratching the mabari’s head as she looked up at the moons. She wondered why it seemed like no matter where she and her friends went, they had to clean up the mess they found. 

“What did the moons do to you?”

Eryn looked over at Alistair, puzzled at his question. “What?”

Alistair plopped down beside her, leaning back on his hands. He nodded toward the moons. “You were glaring at them. So what did it say to you? Is it too bright? Did it come up too soon?” 

Eryn rolled her eyes and shoved on his shoulder, almost knocking him over. “Cheek.”

Alistair laughed giving her a light shove himself. “Anyway, I didn’t come out here to be a cheek,” he started. 

“Oh?”

His expression turned serious and he cleared his throat. “What you’re doing for Connor and Isolde…thank you.”

Eryn bit her lip and shrugged, hugging her knees. “I won’t leave a child to that fate. I refuse to.”

They both stared up at the moon, falling into another one of their comfortable silences. Eryn grinned, remembering how she and her father used to just have moments like this. Neither of them had to say anything and they could just be around each other. Alistair was the same way. Even though they could easily banter back and forth for hours, they could just sit in each other’s company too. 

She looked over at her fellow warden, feeling her heart thud a little. She and Leliana have been talking when the others weren’t around. Somehow, they always got on the topic of men and feelings. Leliana always teased her about Alistair when they were alone, after some time, Eryn wasn’t as annoyed as she was at the start. Now, she blushed and only weakly objected because her thoughts about her fellow Warden have been changing extremely as of late. 

“Love can hurt, but it can heal too. Trust me, I know. You just have to let it do it’s part. If you like Alistair, don’t be afraid of it. It’s not like you to be afraid of something.”

Eryn almost snorted out a laugh at the memory of Leliana’s giggle after she said that to her. No, it wasn’t like her to be afraid of anything. Especially Alistair. She just knew he would never hurt her, but that wasn’t what she was afraid of. She was afraid he would be ripped out of her grasp just like her family was. 

She didn’t think she could bear something like that again. 

Her eyes trailed along the strong line of his jaw, the soft curve of his lips, his warm, cinnamon brown eyes, the strawberry blond hair. They trailed down over his broad shoulders, his chest, and back up again. The cotton shirt he was wearing wasn’t hiding how toned he was. She had saw him shirtless once, and it wasn’t a sight one forgot easily. She had caught him by the stream early one morning and she had froze on the spot at the sight. 

Alistair wasn’t as chiseled and toned as she imagined he would be. While he was still strong and his physique still impressive, the lines of his muscle were soft and his sheer size showed his strength. He was just so naturally big and strong in the first place that he didn’t need the defined lines she had seen on other men. Eryn was embarrassed to remember how hot her face got looking at him. 

After that, she found herself staring at his arms and chest frequently, now that she knew what they looked like without all that armor on them. 

Like now.

Thank the Maker Alistair was oblivious and was looking up at the moon still.

Before her mind could think, she blurted out. “Has anyone told you how handsome you are?”

Alistair looked at her with a surprised expression for a moment before humming in thought and looking up at the sky again. “Not unless they were asking me for a favor.” He paused and let out a short laugh. “Well, there was that one time in Denerim, but those women were…not like you.”

Eryn rolled her eyes with a giggle of her own. She could only imagine how Alistair would have reacted to that. Alistair smirked and moved closer to her, almost to where their shoulders were touching and she had to look up to meet his eyes. “Why? Is this your way of telling me you think I’m handsome?”

He wiggled his eyebrows and Eryn held back a laugh, hiding her face in her knees. She lifted her head again and her stomach fluttered at his gaze. Maker, he was handsome. 

She nudged his shoulder with her own. “You _**know**_ you’re handsome, Alistair.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. It doesn’t hurt to have a pretty girl say that, though.” His expression softened and his grin widened down at her. 

Oh Maker, her cheeks were turning red, she knew they were. Stupid handsome man.

Alistair moved even closer and asked, “So…is this the part where I get to say the same?”

Eryn cleared her throat and leaned against him slightly. “Not unless you don’t think so.”

A soft laugh escaped from him and Eryn’s heart started to race with the sound. Maker’s tits she was in trouble. 

“Oh, I think so. I’ll just spring it on you when it’s a surprise,” he promised, laughing. 

Eryn knew her whole face had to be red at that point and she was happy for the darkness of the night. 

Stupid handsome man.


	9. Templars and Mages

Alistair hated being back at the Circle. 

He especially hated how they had to come during a mage uprising of all things. 

He, Eryn, Leliana, Morrigan, Wynne, and Bear had somehow made it through most of the tower almost unscathed. Wynne was an exceptional healer and Alistair was glad to have ran into her. Eryn and Leliana stayed close to him and Alistair acted as their shield and block when facing the mages. He hadn’t done Silence this often since his training. 

Alistair could tell Eryn was getting more and more upset as they went up. Her brow became more pinched and her lips got thinner and thinner as they went. 

He still couldn’t believe he fell for a demon’s trick. He had never even _met_ his sister and he was glad Eryn was able to literally beat some sense into him. 

Well, she slapped him in the face when he got cross and then he saw the ‘nieces and nephews’ turn into skeletons. Talk about a wakeup call. 

Finally, they reached the Harrowing Chamber. 

Alistair held back a gasp when he saw the purple cage. Leliana and Wynne didn’t hold back theirs and even Morrigan was quiet. 

The Templar, Cullen, was actually a Templar he had trained with once. And he never thought he would hear hateful words come from his mouth. Then again, the man had just been tortured and was probably experiencing lyrium withdrawal.

“You need to finish the rest before it’s too late!” Cullen pleaded, glaring at Eryn. 

Eryn, meanwhile, was glaring right back. “No,” she curtly growled.

“But there could be—“

“Innocent mages that I won’t kill! Just because you think they’re all evil doesn’t mean they are, you twit!” Eryn interrupted before the Templar could continue. “I refuse to go in and take more lives.”

Cullen sighed heavily through his nose. “Then I hope you’re ready to accept the consequences of your choice. I tried to warn you.”

If there was one thing Alistair knew about Eryn, it was she despised it when someone talked to her in a condescending way. 

Cullen didn’t know what he was getting into. 

Eryn stood close to the cage, glaring up at the taller Templar. “Bite my ass,” she seethed, before turning and making her way to the stairs. “I suppose I’ll do the Templars job for you and protect _your_ charges. You all couldn’t even catch blood mages _**in**_ the bloody circle!”

That…was a low blow. 

Cullen’s face twisted in anguish and Alistair felt horrible for him when he basically curled into a ball on the floor. 

Alistair caught up to Eryn, who was currently trying to open to the door to the Harrowing Chamber, and he opened his mouth to say something. 

As usual, she beat him to the punch. “Look, I know that wasn’t called for and I’ll apologize later. I’m just so **angry** right now,” she hissed, kicking at the door. 

“Stupid.”

Kick.

“Blood mages.”

Kick.

“And Templars.”

Kick.

“Being stupid.”

A punch this time.

Alistair quickly grabbed the back of her armor and tugged her back before she could hurt herself and the door. “I agree that we need to talk about this later, but you understand why he said—“

“Yes! Now I just want to go in there and _**kill**_ Uldred,” she interrupted. 

She looked down the stairs, where the others were just beginning to climb up. 

“Morrigan! Break down the door!” Eryn barked. 

Alistair made what seemed to be the 100th mental note to never piss Eryn off because she took out Uldred the second she saw him. Before anyone knew it, a knife was embedded in the mage’s head and a Pride demon quickly took its place. 

They saved most of the mages and the First Enchanter and they all were finally able to breathe easily since they stepped into the tower. 

Soon, they were all in the main hall with all of the survivors and Irving promised the mages’ aid against the darkspawn. A special group of mages were to accompany them to Redcliffe to help Connor too. 

Things were finally looking up again. 

Alistair watched Eryn talk to Cullen and she ended up stomping away from him toward the doors to the main hall. 

Despite his better judgment, Alistair followed. 

He found her sitting on the main steps to the tower, looking up at the stars. He slowly moved to her side and sat beside her, looking up as well. There were no moons that night so the stars shone brighter than usual. 

“I feel sorry for him, yet I don’t at the same time,” Eryn whispered many moments later. 

Alistair looked at her and he saw the sorrow on her face. “I get he was tortured and his friends are gone, but that doesn’t mean all mages are bad. That’s like me saying I can never trust anyone again.”

If anything, Alistair was more curious than ever. “Why do you care so strongly about it? About mages, I mean.”

Eryn sighed and kicked at a stray pebble on the steps. “Growing up, there was a servant girl I played with when I was little. She was my best friend and my parents let me play with her because they thought a fellow girl’s influence would be good on me.” Eryn huffed out a laugh. “Eliza just liked that I climbed trees and stuff and she just followed me everywhere really. We did like to make dolls out of corn cobs, though.”

Alistair scooted a little closer to her, almost to where their shoulders were touching. “What happened to her?”

Eryn sniffed a little and wiped at her nose. “She turned out to be a mage. They just took her away one day and I haven’t seen her since. But that’s the thing, she was still Eliza to me. I didn’t care if she had magic or not. And that’s why I think mages aren’t as scary as everyone says, because Eliza is still one of the kindest people I have ever known.”

It all made sense to Alistair now. Eryn was kind behind her tough exterior. He saw it when she helped anyone who asked for it and didn’t demand it. To know that someone with her status was best friends with a lowly servant made him realize just how non-judgmental she was. She always did judge people on character and seemed to be able to sniff out a rat from a mile away. 

“So when he said to kill the rest of the mages…”

Eryn let out a shaky laugh. “I thought of Eliza, and those children and the other mages we saved, and I couldn’t do it. They didn’t choose for this to happen to them. They shouldn’t pay the price for one fool’s mistake.”

Alistair hesitantly reached out and took her hand in his, giving it what he hoped was a comforting squeeze. “I think you made the right decision. And you were right, Templars are supposed to protect mages too. But, you can’t change everyone,” he said gently. 

She nodded, leaning against him. “This whole week just sucks eggs.”

“Agreed.”

They stared up at the sky, trying not to think about the carnage in the tower behind them. 

“Did I tell you that I had a sister?” Alistair suddenly asked, not being able to get the sloth demons illusion out of his head. 

Eryn shook her head. 

“Do you think—“ Alistair took a deep breath and tried again, “Do you think we can try to find her? The next time we’re in Denerim?”

Silence followed his question, which caused him to panic. He shouldn’t have asked that. After what happened in the Fade, Alistair was sure she didn’t want to see his sister at all. 

“Sure.”

Her answer surprised him. “Really?”

Eryn grinned up at him. “Why wouldn’t we? Besides, we’ll have to go there to figure out what Loghain is planning eventually. We could do it then.”

Alistair blinked rapidly and he nodded, feeling good for the first time that day. “Thank you.”

Eryn rested her head on his arm. “No problem. It might be a good distraction from all this shite.”

Alistair huffed out a laugh, daring to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “No, really. Thank you.”

Eryn poked his side. “And I said you’re welcome. Now shut up,” she teased. 

Affection welled up in Alistair’s chest, making it feel tight and he dared to sneak a glance down at her before looking up at the sky again. 

She really was incredible.


	10. Assassins

Eryn made a vow to feed Loghain his own balls the next day. 

They were halfway to Redcliffe when the damn assassins appeared. 

Eryn found herself toe to toe with the leader soon enough. The elf was fast, but what Eryn lacked in speed against him she made up for in strength. It was kind of funny, how fast he went down when she punched him in the face. 

The rest of the assassins either ran away or were dead by the time it was all over. 

Having the mages from the Circle and the others made the skirmish embarrassingly short. Eryn stood over the assassin, glaring down at how he sprawled out in the mud. Should she just kill him? Or should she interrogate him? 

Leliana answered the question for her. “This man is an Antivan Crow, the cowl is unmistakable. He would have valuable information,” she said, slinging her bow over her shoulder. 

Eryn snorted. “The cowl’s downright stupid is what it is.” The elf’s peripheral vision had to be shit when he was wearing that thing. 

“What do we have here?” Alistair asked, coming up on her other side. His brows furrowed as he stared down at the elf. “How hard did you hit him?”

The elf’s jaw was already the size of a grapefruit. 

“Hard enough.”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “But what are we going to do with him?”

“I believe we should kill him. Wouldn’t be wise to let him roam after that.”

Alistair scoffed at her. “Of course you would suggest that.”

“And you disagree?” Morrigan sneered. 

The awkward clearing of his throat answered her question. 

Eryn looked over at Wynne, who was just now joining the discussion. “Can you wake him up, please?”

Everyone tensed at her suggestion. 

“Are you sure?” Alistair asked, stepping closer to her. 

Eryn nodded and looked at Wynne expectantly. 

Wynne shook her head and did the spell, despite the disapproving look she had. 

The elf groaned, rubbing at his jaw before looking up at them all. “I’m…not dead?”

“Yet,” Morrigan hissed.

Alistair unsheathed his sword and held the tip to the elf’s neck. Leliana had her daggers out and Eryn could feel the pulsing energy of the mages and Bear was growling. 

What good friends she had. 

She crossed her arms, scowling down at the elf. “Talk.”

The elf wasn’t daft, she had to give him that. 

“Oh? This is my interrogation? Well, I’m Zevran—Zev to my friends—and I was hired to kill you.”

“Who hired you?”

“A rather taciturn fellow in the capital. Loghain, I think it was? Yes, that’s it.”

Eryn shared a look with Alistair. The other Warden’s face looked grim and he pressed the tip of his sword harder against Zevran’s neck. 

“Are you loyal to him?” Alistair demanded, expression hardening. 

“I was just performing a service he paid for. As for loyalty,” Zevran reached up and ran his finger along the top of the sword at his neck, “No, I’m not loyal to him.”

“And now that you failed the service?” Leliana asked, stepping closer to Eryn. 

Eryn _really_ had to start thanking the Maker for her friends. 

“Well, that’s between Loghain and the Crows, and the Crows and me,” Zevran sighed. 

“And between us?” Eryn growled, squatting down. 

“Isn’t that what we’re establishing now?” Zevran quipped, glancing down at the sword. 

Eryn furrowed her brow. He was very cheeky for someone with a sword at their throat. 

“Why are you telling us this valuable information?”

Zevran laughed. “Why not? I wasn’t paid for silence.” He shrugged a little. “Not that I offered it for sale, precisely.” 

“Aren’t you loyal to your employers?” Eryn grumbled, resting her forearms on her knees. She didn’t know why, but she _had_ to be able to see him straight in the face. Alistair’s sword was doing a good job of keeping it still. 

“Loyalty is an interesting concept. If you wish, we can discuss it further.”

Ah, there it was. The catch she was looking for. 

“Make it quick.”

Zevran knew how to deliver, it seemed. “Here’s the thing, I failed to kill you, so my life is forfeit. That’s how it works. If you don’t kill me, the Crows will.” He shifted a little, glancing down at the sword at his neck. “Thing is, I like living. And you obviously are the sort to give the Crows pause. So let me serve you, instead.”

Eryn frowned, studying the elf closely. It would be handy, having him there as well. He would know the little things Leliana didn’t about espionage and those sort of things. Then again, he could try to kill her and Alistair again and she wasn’t keen on that. 

“And what’s to stop you from finishing the job later?” Eryn growled. 

She had to give it to him, he was cunning. 

“To be completely honest, I was never given much of a choice regarding joining the Crows. They bought me on the slave market when I was a child.” He looked at her and Eryn saw _something_ that almost made her believe him. “I think I paid my worth back to them, plus tenfold. The only way out however, is to sign up with someone they can’t touch.”

He looked her in the eye and Eryn absolutely knew he was being honest in that moment. 

“Even if I kill you now, they might kill me just on principle for failing the first time. Honestly, I’d rather take my chances with you.”

Eryn met his stare, asking herself if she was actually considering this. “And you can help us against the Crows?”

“Of course, but I don’t think you need much help in the first place. And if I don’t help you…well, it’s not like I had many alternatives to start with, is it?”

Eryn stood up again, crossing her arms. “You must think I’m royally stupid.”

Zevran sent her a charming smile. “I think you’re royally tough to kill. And utterly gorgeous.”

Alistair must have pressed the sword harder, almost enough to break skin because Zevran quickly added on, “Not that I think you’ll respond to simple flattery. But there are worse things in life than serving the whims of a deadly _sex_ goddess.”

Eryn didn’t know what was more strange, the fact that an assassin almost killed her and was pleading for her life or that he found her attractive at all after punching him as hard as she did. 

She glanced at her companions and the situation just became stranger. Alistair was expressionless for once, but the slight pinch in his brow and the frown on his lips gave her his answer. Leliana’s expression was a mixture between stunned and angry. Crows must not have done this often in her experience. Morrigan looked bored and Wynne just looked flat out annoyed. 

Bear, surprisingly, had sat on his haunches, but was still keeping a close eye on the elf. 

“What do you want in return?” Eryn asked, glancing over at Alistair again. 

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and she could see the question in the glance. _What are you bloody doing?_

Zevran sat up a little straighter, Alistair’s sword went with him. “Well…let’s see. Being allowed to live would be nice, and would me marginally more useful to you. And somewhere down the line if you would decide that you no longer have need of me, then I go on my way. Until then, I am yours. Is that fair?”

Eryn knew she was sleep deprived now from the last few days. She was actually considering this. 

“What can you do?”

“I can fight, use stealth, pick locks. I could warn you if the Crows try something more…sophisticated. Or,” he sent her another charming smile. Eryn would have admitted he was handsome if he didn’t have a knot the size of her fist on his jaw from where she hit him. “I could also stand around and look pretty, if you prefer. Warm your bed? Pend off unwanted suitors? No?”

Eryn rolled her eyes. “No.”

“If not that,” he added on, voice going up a pitch or two. Alistair must have upped the pressure. “I can even shine armor. You won’t find a better deal, I promise.”

Eryn’s eyes met the elf’s again, and something tugged at her heart. Even though he was pleading for his life…she saw nothing. His eyes were dull and that will to live wasn’t there. But that one look from earlier when she was almost kneeling next to him, that had the will to live in it. Besides, she had Bear. And she could just convince the others to keep a close eye on him for a while. 

Eryn really didn’t want to be surprised by the Crows again. She wouldn’t want to deal with that shit at all. 

“Fine. You can come.”

Alistair spluttered and looked over at her. “What?! You’re taking the assassin with us now? Does that really seem like a good idea?” 

Eryn looked at the others. “Watch him,” she said, gesturing to Zevran. She grabbed Alistair’s elbow and pulled him away from the group. 

“Look, I’m not happy about this either, but it’s either let him go and he can try again or keep him around to keep an eye on him,” Eryn whispered, turning her back to the group. 

“Eryn, he’s an _assassin_. I don’t know why we don’t just end it!”

Eryn crossed her arms, wondering how to explain this. “I don’t know, Alistair. There’s…. something there that’s worth saving. I have a feeling in my gut about it. Sort of like with Sten.”

That was her explanation for allowing the murderous Qunari to join, at least. Same with Leliana. 

Alistair looked more cross, if that was even possible. “Are you keeping him around just because he’s pretty? Or do you really think we can use him?” he hissed. 

Eryn blinked up at him, stunned. Was he…jealous? Oh, she couldn’t deal with this petty bullshit right now. She stuck her tongue in her cheek, letting out a heavy huff through her nose as she tried to compose herself. “Yes, I think he could be useful. Besides, he saw Loghain last. We can get information about what Loghain is planning and plan our move.” 

Stepping close, she smacked his chest plate, glaring up at him. “And accuse me of bringing him along just so he can warm my bed again, Alistair Theirin. I _**dare**_ you.” 

Alistair’s eyes widened and he seemed to realize what was going on. “Shit, Eryn, I—“ He wiped his hands down his face, groaning. “I didn’t mean it like that and this whole week has been…” He trailed off with a sigh. “That was uncalled for, and I’m sorry. But I still think this is a bad idea.”

Luckily, Eryn knew Alistair rarely said anything out of spite, and when he did, it was usually toward Morrigan. She was honestly too tired to be annoyed at him. 

“I honestly don’t think it is either, but I can’t kill him. Besides, I’m planning to have Bear stick with him.”

Alistair considered the options and he finally let out a long sigh. “Fine, but the first sign of funny business, we deal with it. No second chances.”

She held out her hand. “Deal.”

And that, was how an ex-assassin joined their merry band of misfits.


	11. Roses and Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (BIG SKIP AHEAD)

Being back in Redcliffe was a change for Alistair. 

It wasn’t the Redcliffe he entirely remembered. Well, the bits and pieces of the undead still lying about changed it drastically, for sure. 

The Wardens and their party members decided to stay in Redcliffe for a few days before setting out to Denerim to try to find Brother Genetivi. They were all exhausted from saving Redcliffe and making the quickest trip they could to Kinloch Hold and back, where they ran into another bloody problem. Alistair knew he was going to have nightmares about what he saw there with Eryn, Leliana, and Wynne. Eryn had put her foot down and bullied Isolde into letting all of them have rooms at Redcliffe Castle and when Eryn wanted something to happen, it happened. 

Alistair decided to take some time to himself the next morning, mostly so he could gather his thoughts about his fellow Warden. Maker, he thought his heart was going to burst from his chest when he finally gave her the rose last night. 

It probably wasn’t the greatest idea to do it last night, but Alistair had to do it when he had the courage to. 

Alistair had bumbled over to the door to her room, hesitating to knock for about five minutes and pacing furiously for another ten. And, of course with his luck and finesse, when he finally did move to knock on the door, she opened the door and smacked him in the face on accident. 

After a handful of curses and apologies from both of them, she finally convinced him to come into her room so she could help him with his bleeding nose. Alistair finally pulled the rose out after they just sat in a comfortable silence for what seemed like hours. So, with a voice that sounded like he had a cold due to the cloth stuffed up his nostril, he gave her the rose. 

It was rare to see Eryn flustered, and her blush and bashful smile was something that was going to be engrained in Alistair’s mind for the rest of his days. 

Her reaction was more than encouraging, and he wondered how he was going to possibly tell her that he loved her. It hit him like a punch to the jaw last night as he watched her admire the rose. They had only known each other for less than two months. Most of it was spent fighting and running for their lives, but he didn’t care. Eryn had picked him up and encouraged him after Ostagar, even when she had so much to deal with on her own. She understood how he felt better than anyone when the pain of losing Duncan and his friends hit him. 

And in turn, he understood her. 

It was that understanding that he realized he cared for her. 

And Maker, she was a spitfire. 

While she was even minded and kind, Eryn had a low tolerance for being used or lied to and people learned quickly to not do either to her. Alistair remembered how she basically tossed Daveth at Ostagar when he commented on her arse and that was when he knew he was in trouble. 

And Maker’s breath, she was funny. 

For every bad joke Alistair told, she had two more to throw right back. 

No wonder Alistair was hopeless. 

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the chantry in Redcliffe village and he wandered inside. He never got a chance to speak to the Revered Mother with all that happened. When he was young, Alistair would come to the Chantry when the mabari kennels at the Castle were too cold and the Revered Mother always welcomed him with open arms. 

He opened the door, glad to see that the sanctuary was looking like a sanctuary again instead of a refugee camp. The Revered Mother was standing at the end, talking to the children Eryn had helped when they were preparing Redcliffe for the attack. The little boy had his grandfather’s sword strapped to his back and his chest was puffed out in pride. 

The kid sure didn’t look brave when Eryn basically snarled at him to go back to the Chantry. 

Alistair waited to the side until they were done talking before he stepped forward himself. Mother Hannah was exactly how he remembered. The large bun on the back of her head seemed to be pulling her skin tight on her wrinkled face, but her eyes were kind enough to make up for the severe look. Her dark brown eyes widened when she noticed him coming toward her. 

“My word…Alistair? Is that you?”

Alistair smiled and opened his arms. “Afraid so.”

Mother Hannah swatted his shoulder before pulling him into a tight hug. “I heard there were two Grey Wardens, but I didn’t dare hope one of them was you!”

The young Warden’s heart dropped with her words, but then he remembered why he came here in the first place and it instantly lifted again. “Yep, one of the lone survivors was me. Those darkspawn couldn’t handle my devilish looks after all.”

Mother Hannah arched an amused brow. “Is that so?”

Alistair puffed out his chest and crossed his arms…like he did that one time he was trying to impress Eryn. He thought he saw her staring but one could only hope for those sort of things. 

“Of course.”

Mother Hannah poked his arm. “Surely you didn’t come here to joke with an old woman, Alistair.”

Ah, Mother Hannah did always cut to the chase. 

“Well, you’re right about that,” he admitted. 

Mother Hannah beckoned to him and led the way to her office. Alistair remembered how she used to sneak treats to him occasionally when he wandered in there. He closed the door behind them and steeled himself. Mother Hannah was always the more motherly sort of figure in his life. She was the only pleasant Revered Mother he had ever come across. Surely she can offer him some advice on this? 

“Now,” she started, taking a seat at her desk, “what is bothering you, Alistair?”

“N-nothing’s bothering me!”

“You always got this little wrinkle in between your eyes when you thought really hard about something. It’s there right now,” she chuckled, eyes twinkling. 

Alistair rubbed at the said spot before clearing his throat. “Well, there’s this…girl.”

Mother Hannah’s smile grew. “And?”

Alistair started to pace as all of the warm, fluttery feelings he felt whenever he thought about Eryn started to appear. “She’s smart and fun and—“

“Pretty?” Mother Hannah inquired. 

“Beautiful!” Alistair confirmed. Maker, he couldn’t even begin to describe Eryn’s beauty. “She’s got these eyes that just—“ He stuttered as he tried to think of words, gesturing to his face. “And this hair a-and her smile?” 

Alistair sighed just like a damsel from a play. 

Mother Hannah was beaming at this point. “Goodness, she sounds incredible.”

“She is…and I’m finding it hard to believe that she could possibly see me in the same way,” Alistair admitted, finally halting in his tracks. 

“And why wouldn’t she?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Alistair joked, “the fact I am insecure, I bumble through any conversation I have and I lose my pants all the time. I’m just a buffoon compared to her. She grew up learning how to be noble and I…slept in the kennels most of my childhood.”

Mother Hannah’s smile officially disappeared as she stared at Alistair with an unreadable expression. Oh no, he said something wrong. What a surprise. 

“Alistair, do you want to know what I see when I look at you? What I’ve always seen when I’ve looked at you?” she finally said, gesturing to the chair across from her. 

Alistair sat and shrugged, looking down at his now twiddling thumbs. 

A sharp rap on the top of the desk had him jumping and looking up at her…just like she did when he did the same as a child. “I see a young man with a kind heart and soul, despite what he’s gone through in his past. I see a young man who always wanted to help others and do something good. I was so worried for you when you were younger. I thought you would grow up into a bitter, grumpy buffoon who couldn’t see past his hardships. That is obviously not the case.”

Alistair sighed. “But—“

“But nothing! I see no reason why this woman can’t see the same thing, and she probably does for all you know. And, it helps that you’re handsome dear boy. The sisters and I used to wonder how many hearts you would break when you grew up,” she continued with a wink. 

Alistair’s cheeks flared up and he let out a soft huff of laughter as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, that number is…zero.”

“Well, let’s keep it that way. Have you told her how you felt?” she asked, leaning back in her chair. 

Alistair bumbled through a short explanation of how he gave Eryn the rose. “I…thought it would work, but then I got hit in the face with a door and I had a piece of cloth up my nose the whole time.”

Mother Hannah couldn’t stop laughing. “Oh Maker, she hit you with the door?”

“Well, it was my fault, I stood in front of it for 100 years trying to get the courage to knock.”

“And what did you tell her?”

Alistair mumbled his whole ‘beautiful thing in the darkness’ bit. His heart leapt when he saw tears forming in Mother Hannah’s eyes. “Mother—“

“You told her that? Alistair, I can’t believe you’re doubting. Any woman would love to hear that,” she said, dabbing at her eyes. 

Alistair could think of one sneaky witch thief that wouldn’t, but that was beside the point. 

“I think you are worrying for nothing, dear boy,” she continued, pulling out her handkerchief. 

Alistair didn’t agree. “But what about—“

“But nothing! You are overthinking it and have nothing to worry about. Now, why are you here instead of spending time with her?”

Alistair really didn’t have a good answer for her. “Well, I don’t know.”

Mother Hannah made a shooing motion with her hands. “Go!”

Alistair grinned, actually feeling reassured for once, and he stood and moved toward the door. He stopped as his hand reached the doorknob. He turned with a big smile. “Thank you, Mother Hannah.”

He finally stepped out and set a brisk pace for the main door. 

Maybe he could convince Eryn to have lunch with him…alone.

* * *

Eryn couldn’t stop smiling down at the rose in her hands. 

She could see the faint traces of lyrium, so she assumed Alistair must have preserved it with one of their potions, but that wasn’t what she was thinking about. All she could think about were the words that came with the rose. 

_“Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst this…darkness.”_

Eryn resisted the urge to squeal and kick her legs. Maker, she had only ever dreamed of having a man say words like that to her. Alistair always complimented her and they had been using flirtatious jokes for weeks now. Eryn just felt…right around him. Alistair was slowly filling in the hole that her family’s death had left behind and she found herself finally embracing the idea instead of keeping it at an arm’s length like she has been. 

Would it be so horrible to allow herself to feel this? Would it be so horrible to cling to him even though she could lose him like she lost her parents? Eryn bit her lip as she thumbed a petal on the rose. Her father always told her to hold tight to good things as they came…maybe she should follow his advice now more than ever. 

Eryn put the rose into the small box she usually used for her arrowheads before rushing over to the vanity. She ran her fingers through her hair, pouting when it wasn’t cooperating. Eryn was used to long hair, not the chin length hair she had now. She had decided to cut it after the attack on her family and she found it easier for things like fighting and keeping it out of her face. 

Now…she had no idea what to do with it. 

Alistair never seemed to care though, and she knew she had darkspawn guts on her face once when he told her she was pretty. 

With that thought, she marched out of her room, heart hammering in her chest as she made her way down the hall. 

Zevran was leaning against the door to his room, cleaning his nails with a dagger. “Ah, my beautiful Warden, what are you up to on this fine—“

“Have you seen Alistair?” Eryn asked, arching an amused brow at the elf. She didn’t know why others disliked Zevran. He hadn’t lied to her yet. And he had been nothing but a big help…even though he couldn’t pick a lock worth a damn. 

“I believe I saw him going toward the village. As far as I know, he has not returned.”

Shit. 

Eryn had to find him now. 

Without another word, she turned on her heel and walked toward the stairs leading down to the main hall. 

The Maker and Andraste were on her side apparently, because as soon as she got halfway down the steps she bumped into her fellow Warden. 

She stumbled and started to tip forward, but two strong hands on her upper arms helped steady her and she found herself almost chest to chest with him. 

Sweet Maker, she had always noticed how tall and broad he was, and she felt her cheeks grow hot when she realized her hands were resting on the very strong and broad chest she found herself staring at sometimes. 

And even though she was on a step above him, she was still staring at the middle of his chest. She looked up and gulped a little when they’re eyes met. Maker, his eyes were the prettiest, honey gold color she had ever seen. 

“E-Eryn! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you coming and—“

“It’s alright,” she quickly interrupted, pulling away slightly. 

A cute blush was rising on his own cheeks and Eryn had to bite her lip to hold back a giggle. He was not only the most handsome man she had ever met, but also the cutest. 

She didn’t know how long they stood in that stairwell just staring at each other, but Eryn didn’t care. Maker, she wanted to kiss him, but how to go about that? Eryn grinned as an idea came to her head. She probably wasn’t going to reach him even on the tips of her toes, but the stairs were there for a good reason. She stepped back one more step and she was finally at the perfect height. 

“Eryn?”

Alistair’s grip on her arms loosened and Eryn didn’t hesitate to twine her fingers with his. 

“Yes?”

He cleared his throat and stared down at their hands. “I was thinking about last night and I just wanted to say I’m sorry if that was out of line or too fast or whatever you want to call it…b-but I meant every word I said.”

Maker, he was too good and pure for this world. 

“You weren’t out of line…I thought I told you this,” she lightly teased, leaning closer. 

“R-Right.”

He finally looked up at her again and Eryn gave him a big smile. “I told you I liked it, didn’t I?”

“Yes! Well, I…” he trailed off and let out a soft huff of laughter. “I think my ears were still ringing from the door hitting my face and I possibly misheard.”

Eryn playfully huffed and smacked his shoulder. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

Alistair’s boyish grin finally replaced his nervous one. “Maybe.”

Eryn laughed and let go of his hands, squeezing by him to continue down the stairs. “Well, if that’s the case, I guess I won’t break us into the larder for a midafternoon snack.”

“Wait! I take that back. You are the loveliest person who would never hit someone with a door,” he quickly said, hurrying after her. 

Eryn waited until he was beside her before reaching out and taking his hand. “Alright, you’re allowed to come now.”

“What a relief,” he joked with a wink. 

Eryn couldn’t stop smiling, even after the cook chased them out of the larder later. 

She was finally willing to take the chance, and she knew she was off to a good start.


	12. Lullaby

The group was on their way to Denerim now and they already got attacked by assassins—sent for Leliana this time—and they also ran into a merchant that basically threw a control rod for a golem at them and took off down the road not even two minutes later. 

Now, not only were they going to look for Genitivi, they were going to find the woman who tried to kill Leliana, AND they were going to see his sister. 

All while trying not to get caught by the guard. 

Alistair pondered the situation as he sat by the fire, not even realizing he was staring at Eryn as she talked to Leliana on the other side of it. Wynne was sitting on the warden’s other side and Morrigan was a little ways behind them. 

“Stop this staring, it’s foolish,” Sten growled. 

Alistair rolled his eyes at the qunari. “No one asked for your opinion. And I never claimed I wasn’t a fool.”

“You cannot blame him for being smitten, my brutish friend,” Zevran chuckled, taking a bite of the stew Wynne managed to whip up for them. Bear let out a bark. The mabari hadn’t left the elf’s side since he joined their group and while Alistair didn’t trust him, the mabari didn’t seem to mind the elf’s presence now. He even accepted treats from Zevran. 

It was Sten’s turn to roll his eyes and he got up and started to wander around the camp. 

Leliana now had her lute out and she was tuning it. She looked at Eryn with a big smile. “I have heard many songs, but I haven’t heard any from Highever. Care to indulge me?”

Eryn tilted her head in thought before she perked up, snapping her fingers. “Do you know the lullaby _Noble Maiden Fair_? Highever has their own version of it with the old language.”

It was Leliana’s turn to tilt her head in thought and she too perked up. “I do know that one! It’s beautiful in the common language. Let’s see if I remember the chords…” She started to strum at the lute and Alistair shared a curious look with Zevran. 

Eryn could sing? 

Alistair remembered her telling him that the only ladylike things she cared for was singing and the violin, but she claimed she wasn’t that good at either. 

What happened next had both men staring at Eryn with wide eyes. 

Eryn’s voice had the Highever lilt to it, but it rang out clear and beautiful into the night. _“A naoidhean bhig, cluinn mo ghuth.”_

Alistair wanted to go over there and shake her. She called this not good?! She had a voice that was sweeter than most of the ones he heard in the Chantry, and they were supposed to be the best. The Highever lilt added a rich, low tone to her words that had goosebumps rising on his skin. 

Eryn was tapping her foot along with the sound of Leliana’s lute and she continued to sing. 

_“Mise ri d' thaobh, Ó mhaighdean bhàn  
Ar rìbhinn òg, fàs a's faic  
Do thìr, dìleas fhéin.”_

Alistair rested his elbow on his knee, propping his chin on his hand as he watched her. The look on Eryn’s face was serene and he could see the corners of her lips lift in a smile. Maker’s breath, she was absolutely stunning.

_“A ghrian a's a ghealach, stiùir sinn  
Gu uair ar cliù 's ar glòir  
Naoidhean bhig, ar rìbhinn òg  
Mhaighdean uasal bhàn.”_

The last notes of the song faded into the night and almost everyone was staring at Eryn with either wide eyes or slacked jaws.

“My dear, you have the most beautiful voice,” Wynne breathed out, applauding. 

“That was beautiful, I believe I prefer the lullaby in the old language,” Leliana giggled. 

Eryn was sheepishly rubbing her arm. “I never like hearing it in the common tongue.” Her face fell a little. “My mother always sang it to me in the old language, so that was the only version I knew for the longest time.”

“That was…wow,” Alistair managed to choke out. 

Eryn looked at him with a bashful look, tucking her hair behind her ear. Maker’s breath, he knew he was going to have that expression of hers stuck in his brain until the day he died. 

“Can you grace us with your voice once more?” Zevran asked, scratching behind Bear’s ears. “Surely you two know a song you both can sing?”

Eryn looked up in thought and Leliana was the one who snapped her fingers this time. “ _Once We were!”_

Both women started to sing this time, and Alistair couldn’t tear his eyes away from his fellow Warden. 

His brain tended to come up with good ideas from time to time, and he knew what he was going to get in Denerim as soon as they got there. 

He didn’t care if Eryn would scold him for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lullaby is the one from 'Brave' and it's Noble Maiden Fair https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p_a3GbyIBk


	13. Sisters

Denerim wasn’t what Eryn remembered it was. 

When she saw last saw it, everything was clean and orderly. Maric had done a good job making the city look like a capital again after the war. 

Now…it looked like shit. 

The market was full of even more pickpockets and she already had to hold a dagger to some to get them to leave her alone. 

It was just her, Leliana, Alistair, and Wynne for now. She left Bear with Zevran, though the elf was becoming less of a concern, and she left Sten and Morrigan in their camp for obvious reasons. They needed to be inconspicuous. The apostate and qunari were not good for that. 

They had helped Leliana and Eryn wondered if she made the right decision letting her friend kill her former mentor. Then again, Leliana did throw the dagger before anyone could say anything. 

And Genitivi was in a town called Haven on the other arse end of Ferelden. Eryn was able to weasel the answer out of his ‘apprentice’ before he decided to attack them. 

Now, it was Alistair’s errand they were focused on. 

“As a matter of fact, let’s not do this. I mean, she probably doesn’t even know I exist and—“

Tired, hungry, and wondering how to get him to have more confidence, Eryn reached up and held his cheeks in her hands and tugged down. “Alistair, I have learned to appreciate family. If you can reconnect with your sister, it’s worth it.” She grinned and let him go. “Now, you are going to go into that house and meet her.”

He took a deep breath and stood up straight. “You’re right. I can’t believe I’m about to meet my sister.” He looked up in thought, brow furrowing. “Sister. That’s a funny word. Siiiiiiisteeeeer.”

Eryn rolled her eyes and gave him a light kick to the rear. “Get in there!” she laughed. 

Alistair stumbled forward a few steps before looking back at her, twiddling his thumbs. “Would you…come in with me? I don’t really want to do this alone.”

Eryn agreed and that turned out to be a mistake. 

She was almost ready to rip the bitch’s tongue out by the time Alistair pulled her out of the house. 

“Let me go!” she snarled, trying to wriggle out of Alistair’s grip. 

“Let’s keep ourselves from murdering someone else today, shall we?” Alistair quipped. 

Leliana and Wynne gave them confused looks and Alistair basically carried her away from them. He stopped in an alley and finally set her down. 

Eryn huffed, grumbling as she crossed her arms. Now that her anger was simmering down, she gave Alistair an apologetic look. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. 

“Don’t be, I don’t really know what I was expecting.” He huffed out a laugh with no humor. “I mean, she has every right to be angry. And—“

“Alistair Theirin, she treated you like shit and most of what she said was uncalled for,” Eryn growled. “Sister or no, you shouldn’t let people like her walk all over you because you deserve better than that.”

Alistair’s eyes met hers and she realized just how harsh her words sounded when she basically barked them at him. She quickly looked away. “I’m sorry, I’ll just—“

“No, you’re right,” he interrupted, taking a deep breath, “You’re absolutely right. And I’m sorry you had to see that.” 

They stood in a tense silence and Eryn couldn’t stand the solemn look on his face. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist as best as she could, holding him close. His arms wrapped around her shoulders and she rested her cheek on the front of his armor. “Don’t be,” she mumbled. 

“For what it’s worth,” he added on, resting his chin on top of her head, “I’m glad you were there.”

Eryn couldn’t stop the warm feeling from filling her chest at his words and she just tightened her hold. 

She had a feeling she would follow him to the Fade and back if she had to, and for once, the thought didn’t scare her. 

The duo finally joined up with the other’s and they split up to buy supplies. For once, Alistair went with Leliana instead of her. 

Eryn stared at him quizzically before shrugging her shoulders. 

Knowing him, he probably wanted to comfort Leliana to help him forget what happened with his sister, and Eryn wasn’t going to deny him that.


	14. Gifts

Alistair was sweating what felt like buckets. 

He hoped his idea wasn’t going to turn out to be a stupid one. He wanted to spoil Eryn for once, since she gave so much of herself to everyone else, him included. But now, his courage was failing. 

He was also determined to really tell her how he felt. He was going to go crazy if he had to hold back his feelings any longer and he hoped his gift would be the perfect way to introduce the topic. 

He told Eryn to meet him at the small lake near where they were camped earlier that night after her watch was over. He stared at how the small waves lapped at the shore, running his fingers along the box in his lap. He had found a washed up log and it was the perfect seat. 

The rustling of the leaves warned him on Eryn’s presence. 

“Hey,” she greeted, taking a seat on the log next to him. Her bottom lip pulled out into the curious pout he had come to love as she looked at the case. “What’s that?”

Clearing his throat, Alistair tried to ignore how his heart was thudding against his ribcage and how his stomach was doing somersaults. “Well, I remembered you mentioning it once and—well—I thought this would be a good idea and you do so much for us and—“ He cut himself off and put the case in her hands. “Open it, so I can shut up.”

Eryn arched an amused brow before opening it. Her eyes widened almost impossibly and she looked at him again. “Alistair…Maker’s breath, it’s beautiful,” she whispered, pulling out the violin. 

It was a simple design and it wasn’t as extravagant as some of the ones he had seen in his childhood and in the chantry, but he felt that Eryn wouldn’t truly care about that. 

His heart swelled as he watched her tune it before setting it up in the crook of her neck. She pulled the bow out of the case and she played a few notes. They rang out clear and perfectly in the air. “Alistair, I don’t know what to say.” 

Alistair opened his mouth to make a joke, but her throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him close cut off all of his thinking. He wrapped his arm around her waist, taking that moment to gently bury his face into her hair. 

She pulled away and put the violin back in its case. “Speaking of gifts, I have one for you,” she said softly, beaming. 

Maker’s balls, she had something for him? 

“I was snooping around in the Arl’s office while we were staying at Redcliffe, trying to see if he had anything about Loghain or Howe, and I found this in his desk.” She pulled something out of her pocket and she pressed it into his hand. 

Alistair looked down and his throat closed up when he saw a familiar Andrastian amulet. There was a long crack down the middle and it looked like it was pieced back together. “Maker’s breath,” he whispered, turning it in his hands. “Thank you.” 

He reached up and wiped at the corners of his eyes and he forced himself to look at Eryn. He was still amazed at how simply looking at her took his breath away. He put the amulet in his pocket before reaching forward and taking her hands in his. This was it. He had to do this now or go crazy. 

“I know this might sound strange, considering we haven’t known each other very long. But I’ve come to…” he gulped down the lump in his throat and tightened his grip on her hands, “care you you, a great deal.” He shifted closer to her and continued. “I think maybe its because we gone through so much together or maybe I’m imagining it. Maybe I’m fooling myself.” He looked down at their intertwined fingers before looking up at her. “Am I? Fooling myself?”

Tears were starting to form in her eyes and she silently sniffed before smiling and shaking her head. “No.” 

Alistair’s heart swelled in his chest and he tentatively reached up, resting his hands on either side of Eryn’s neck, pulling her close. 

Her lips were softer than he could have ever imagined and the soft sigh that escaped from her did things he never thought it could. 

They parted and Alistair rested his forehead against hers. “Maker’s breath, you are beautiful. And I’m a lucky man,” he said before he could think. 

Eryn was beaming at him now, reaching her up wrap her arms around his neck. “Lucky, hm?”

“The luckiest.”

Eryn bit her lip and brought her lips close enough to where they were barely brushing against his. “Show me how lucky you are.”

Alistair didn’t hesitate to kiss her again, grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have no excuse for the late update. Nursing school is shit? 
> 
> I think that's the only real excuse I have.


End file.
